hermansaksono

Yes, you heard that right. Microsoft called me the other day.

Okay, lets not panicking fellows. No, they don’t want me to return the Xbox I won at MSDN Chapter Meeting. Instead, they want me to fax a receive form which I already faxed to them days ago (for those who doesn’t have any idea what is a receive form is, basically its just a formal statement I have received soemthing, and in this case is an Xbox). This snobby female Microsoft rep. claimed that they haven’t receive the fax. Conversation as follow:

Erika (Microsoft rep): Hi I’m Erika. Few days ago you we asked you to fax a receive form. You haven’t fax it yet are you?

Me: (Stunned by her arrogance) I have. Several days ago.

Erika: Could you send me the form again? (Imagine one of those snobby marketing tone)

Me: Ok

Erika: Please fax it to xxxxx…….. Today… (She emphasized the ‘today’ part. If she were an html document, the today word would be inside an <em> tag!!!)

Me: Uh. Okay.

Later on she called me again because I forgot to fax the damn form due to work.

Erika: Am I speaking to Mr Herman?

Me: Yes

Erika: You haven’t fax the receive form aren’t you?

Me: Yes sorry, I’m busy.

Erika: Could you fax it today. This is very important. It’s for our files.

Me: Shut up you slutty bitch! (I wish I could say that)

Erika: Today.. (this time the today word is under <strong> tag).

And we hung up the phone

Geeezzzz. How arrogant! If they think they can buy me by giving me free XBox, they are wrong.

This thing works 24 hours per day unpaid, has to deal with several tasks at the same time and a subject of domestic violence. No, I’m not talking about housewives. I’m talking about computers.

Last weekend, I went to this comfy café called Koa. Even though they charge their beverages 2 times more expensive than other cafés, they offer live music performed by real musicians. Not an underpaid ISI freshmen nor annoying talentless street artists.

What suprises me is, as soon as their performance is over, the guitarists start packing up their guitar gently into the case (no, this people were not rushed to go home because they had lots of drinks and chitchat afterwards). It was an amazing sight to see how this people hold their instruments as if it were a baby. Their articulation shows that they don’t want any stratch on their guitars.

I realise that most musicians does the exact same thing. They treat their tool to make a living as if it were their ultimate friend.

Then, I realize how bad most geeks I know (including me treat their ultimate friend: computer. I, for an instance, always treat my $100 wacom tablet like shit and force my computer to render 3D images all the time.

My friends are even worse: they turn on their computer 24/7, swears to the computer when something is not working, and slap the CPU if the computer crashed. They use broken CPU as doorstop and rarely dust their CPU, making Museum Sonobudoyo looks like Royal Singapore Hospital.

We really should treat computers like woman.

You heard that right! Few days ago, a taxi driver offered me the joy of sex-for-pay.

How’d that happened? Well, last Saturday at 9 PM, after hanging out with my friends, I went to the gym (Novotel) to do a bit of cardio exercises. After 60 minutes of fat burning excercises, I decided to go home by cab.

Maybe because I dressed like a tourist and took a cab from a hotel, the taxi driver assumes that I’m a tourist and starting his pimp mode:

Few seconds of uncomfortabe silence.

Few minutes later he started babling on how muscular he was when he was young. Then he started giving me some tips on how to sculpt your muscle and how to gain mass without protein supplements.

What does a preacher, marketing representative and software demo guy have in common? They tend to deviate truths to make their speech sounds interesting.

Marketing reps and demo guy, I can understand, but preachers? You guys should be a saint, you don’t tell fake truths for your own ego.

Example A
I don’t understand why people are celebrating their birthdays. It’s like you are celebrating that you have one year less to live.

Hello? If we put it the other way around, birthday means that we survived to live for one year. Does it sounds like something unworthy to celebrate?

If you don’t like the idea of people celebrating their birthday, just say that its a waste of money and useless.

Example B
See how weak we are? At one moment you are riding expensive car, wearing expensive watch and clothes; at the next moment floods of water hits you and you are nothing. All done by this simple thing called water (reffering to recent Tsunami in Aceh)

I think it’s misleading to say tsunami as ’simple thing called water’. Whoever said this is trying to exaggerate truth by using lame analogy.

Tsunami is not just water, it’s a high speed wave of waters with kilojoules of kinetic energies formed by underwater earthquake caused by movement of continental plates that results in sea waves with long wavelength.

Does it sounds simple?

After eating lots tasty foods and taking a loong nap I feel alot better than yesterday.

When you are sick, you want special treatment. But I ain’t getting any special treatment for me today. I need to rest, but I have to finish many things.